One of Mr Wesley's Preachers?

Last Service

2007-08-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

Hi
Sorry to have been so long writing. I have started my new job now and do not have as much time. Last Sunday I preached for the first time at my home church it was scary, but went ok. The congregation were all so kind and helpful. The Steward on the day gave me a book mark with a prayer on it before we began and that made me feel so cared for it really helped me to focus.
I do feel blessed as I continue with my studies I am very grateful for this. I do believe that I do not in the event actually write my sermons they are given to me which is just as well. Sometimes I can't find anything to say but after prayer and thought something always comes into my mind.
When I started this blog I hoped that I would get posts from other people who were doing this course but so far a few people I know have spoken to me about my blog but no one from any distance. I had hoped that I could set up a dialogue with someone in the same position as me but it has not happened. This makes doing this very hard for me as I do not get any feed back. I don't know how interesting this is for anyone else. It is not that interesting for me without feed back from someone else doing the same course as I am not learning anything. So I don't know how long this will continue as I don't have much time and never know what to write as writing into a void is hard.
So if there is any one out there reading please let me know and then I can continue if not I shall stop as it takes precious time which I could give to something else.

Section A

2007-07-26T03:04:00.000-07:00

Hi Folks
I really feel as though I am on the road now. I am on track with assignments and services and I do not feel stretched or stressed. I should be able to enter my Section A material for the end of September provided nothing untoward happens. But I am not worried as it is not a race and it does not matter if it goes in in March. If that happened I should have to do two pieces of work again as they are time specific but that is OK as I could do with the practice.

I have just been planned for my first two services on Trial which is not as scary as I thought because my mentor or someone else comes with me and checks everything to make sure the quality is good. The last service we did together someone asked me if they had to curtsy to a lady "On Note". I told her no but that next time she saw me I would be "On Trial" and I was not sure how you treated someone like that!!! Actually it will feel a little more peaceful once I am on trial as I shall have only have two services a quarter. My mentor and I have had considerably more than that these past few months. But this has been good for me and has given me a chance to put everything into practice very quickly.

I am finding that I get very tired when I study and I have to take regular breaks to clear my head. I suppose that is natural but I don't remember getting so tired when I took my OU degree. But I suppose that is 20 years ago now but I did have a full time job as well then. Which reminds me I start my job next week and this is why I am so pleased to be on track because I am not sure how this will fit in and whether I have been silly taking it on.

I do all my work on computer and I have started saving everything to disc after it is done just in case of disaster. All these storms have a habit of cutting power when least expected.

I have to make a start on my second piece of exegesis this morning but I have plenty of time for it so I can take a couple of days to get it right. I quite like doing it when I have more than the one commentary and for this one I have three so I should find lots of material there for me. The last one was tough because I only had the one commentary I bought two more but they arrived too late to include. Next time I will send earlier.

Thinking About God

2007-07-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

I have just returned from my holiday. Not as wet as might have been expected but still too wet to walk anywhere much. We saw some historic houses which I always find interesting as I used to work in one, but the boat was a bit tough. I found it far too stressful so we cancelled the second one. However I am back to work now with a vengeance. I start my new job in two weeks and I have copious assignments to do meanwhile.

Unit 6: How do we Picture God? I found as I studied this unit that I am quite conventional in my ideas about God. I expect that is my age. On the other hand I realise that not everyone will have the same pictures. I am cross that I use so much male language in my thoughts but can't seem to get rid of it. My age again. It is an effort to remember to say parent not father. However how useful is that to someone with no parents or rotten ones??? I read a lot of sci-fi literature and watch TV and film, not my age, quite surprising I suspect, but that does help with the concept of the Trinity funnily, but I would not use this in a service, as I think some people would have real problems with seeing the Holy Spirit as some sort of globule that hovers around in space connected but not, to two others beings. I can see the men in white coats coming to the door as I write. It helps me however.

However we do it our words, thoughts, feelings, can never be enough, as God is so far distant that our words cannot come remotely close to describing Him/Her. Just trying to imagine God though is a very good process and way into prayer. You have to think deeply and concentrate and that helps to calm down the busyness of the day. You get close to God in silence.

Part of my next assignment is a meditation on God.

I am finding the exegesis quite time consuming and although I have one large commentary I do need some smaller ones too. Different opinions are useful. I have many books of the Bible already and where I do it helps considerably but where I do not I flounder a bit. I was trying to work my way through the BRF Bible commentaries but have only completed 13 so far. Will I finish?

Anyway I hope to be a bit more regular now I am back lets hope so.

1st Assignment

2007-07-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

I have passed my first assignment! I am so pleased. This has given me a lot of confidence. And I have a timetable for the next few months. I like timetables it gives me something to work towards.

I realise that I may have given some people the wrong impression about the way I prepare for a service. Someone asked me how I learnt the whole thing and I believe that is what I said in a blog. Over stated. What I do is prepare the whole thing on computer, print it out then practice it BUT I don't learn every word by heart.

I have passages of it in bold, these are key words and phrases which the theme hangs on. I never expect to say exactly what I have written down as long as I follow the theme and get in the key images it is ok. So this means that I do not learn every word just the basic ideas and logical progression. I could not learn all the words I write down, although I could have years ago, not now, my memory is not as good as it was. Also if I gave myself that task then forgot something my confidence would waver and I would flounder. This way it does not matter if I forget a few words as long as the theme and ideas are logical and get across.

I hope this has sorted it out I would not like to give anyone the impression that I could learn a whole service. It does take a long time and I have to be prepared a week before so I have time to practice every day. By speaking it over and over for a week before I find that the basic ideas are firm if not every single word. Then of course there is the crib sheet which I always have with me on the day, which keeps me on track if I do go a bit awry. As I am speaking I follow this with one finger. So I can always look down and catch myself.

1st Local Preachers Meeting

2007-06-29T03:46:00.001-07:00

I attended my first Local Preachers meeting last night where I was accepted to go on trial. I should have been before but I was in hospital so could not attend. I enjoyed it very much. We had a lovely time of worship together and shared in communion. There are some lovely people there who are so friendly and helpful. A fellow student has given me some really useful information on assignments and it was good to talk to her about the studies. I wish we closer together so that we could share more often. As they say its good to talk.

I was pleased to find out that for the first six months my mentor will come round with me so I shall still have my comfort blanket for a while longer. I wrote my next sermon yesterday and it came along really quickly. After the last one which I wrestled with this came as very pleasant surprise. I expect that they are all different depending on the passage of scripture and how you feel at the time of writing.

Trial

2007-06-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Two blogs in one day!!!
It never rains but it pours!
I am very happy. My trial service went well. My two assessors said they would recommend that I continue so that's the answer to my worries about whether or not I should be doing this. I do believe that God speaks to us through other people, very often, so I do take their approval as a good sign. The congregation were so kind to me and seemed to enjoy the worship so I was pleased with that. I do feel very tired now, I have done nothing all afternoon which is not like me. I don't how ministers manage with two services a day!
Anyway onward and upward. Thursday they will discuss my progress at the Local Preachers meeting and I shall hopefully be put onto trial proper on the next plan. That's when I lose my comfort blanket of tutor presence, but that won't be until September/October thank goodness.

Assignments

2007-06-24T00:54:00.000-07:00

Today is my trial service. I have practiced all week but I am very nervous. However what I wanted to tell you about now is that after two sessions this week with my mentor and tutor respectively I have discovered that I am short on a booklet I should have received with my pack at the start of the course. This is essential reading for submitting the assignments. It tells you exactly how to proceed and how to write an exegesis passage.

It all came out first at my mentors. I was feeling a bit thick about exegesis and asked some questions. He told me he had been given an explanation in one of the units on his course. They have changed the course since he did it so we both thought that perhaps it had been left out of the one I am doing. So he photocopied the relevant pages and gave them to me. They are extremely informative. Then I went to my tutor later in the week and told him about this and asked if I had missed these pages or were they coming up in later units. No he said that they were contained in the yellow booklet I had received at the start of the course with the package of units. I said what yellow booklet!!! So I have been missing an essential part of my course from day one. I don't think my first assignment will be very good as it was done under a misapprehension of what I was supposed to be doing.

At least I don't feel so thick any more, you can't know what you haven't been told after all, but I do begin to wonder if I am meant to be doing this. It seems to have been a struggle one way or another since I started what with the cancer and everything. Anyway after today the Local Preachers meeting will say what they think about me so far and that should put me on the right track. I shall be very disappointed if they do not think I am good enough but will accept it as God's will.

Progress

2007-06-14T03:27:00.000-07:00

Hello again. I progress. Slowly it is true but none the less surely. I feel a bit at the moment as if I were in limbo. I have not done my trial service yet but I am well through unit 5 in fact I have read it twice in all and more than that in part. I have made a start on the assignment associated with it and I have not had a tutorial on it yet. But I can't keep hanging on reading the same bits over and over again. I will have moved on to unit 6 but the rest of the process won't have. This is a good way of keeping people grounded and it gives plenty of time for thought, but I could move on more swiftly and do feel that I am just hanging about waiting for other things to happen.

However I have a job again now so I expect that I shall slow down from August on as that is when my job starts. It is the same job I had before I had my operations. Someone left and they have offered me the position which is fantastic.

My trial service is more or less finished. I do not want to get it too set as I need to be aware of developments in the news to include in prayers. I have however been practicing every day to get away from the page if I can. I practice by keeping my finger where I have got to, saying as much as I can remember then looking down and moving my finger to where I have got to next. Sounds very difficult but is not once you get used to it. This so that I don't forget bits at the end of paragraphs, which is easy to do. Sometimes I forget what I have to say next and there is a long pause while I think what it is. My neighbours must think I have gone bonkers as they must hear me talking to myself loudly every day! I had one piece of good news today and that is that a friend from church will be playing the organ at the service.

I hope by next week to have some sort of order worked out for future study which should take into account my swift progress through the units thus far.

Trial Sermon Again

2007-06-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well my sermon was less than adequate. I had to write it again after discussion with my mentor. He was right but I did have a crisis of confidence. But that's it now I can't change it again. I began to feel that I would never write it I sat for ages looking at the screen and thinking I can't do this. But after a lot of prayer I did. Then this morning after the service I was talking to a member of the congregation and he was saying things that were in my sermon how strange is that. It gave me confidence that I had been on the right track. I know what I want to say but getting it on the page is sometimes very difficult. It gets lost in the saying. Never mind I progress.
I have done my first assignment too which is encouraging. I hope that's ok.
I am enjoying taking services more and I am not so nervous for all the bits that aren't the sermon. I do get nervous but it is not debilitating. So if I can crack the sermon bit I shall better.
I learnt a lot from my last tutorial and can now use what is called the grid better than before so that's another progression which pleased me because I had been finding that quite difficult.
I realise that we shall have to get more bookshelves. If I keep every sermon and service I do we shall run out of space very soon. We turned one of our bedrooms into an office and bought new shelves but they are nearly full already!

Trial Sermon Again!!!

2007-05-23T02:27:00.000-07:00

I told you yesterday that I had finished my trial sermon. I was wrong. When I read it through I realised that two paragraphs had to go and then I needed to put the information in them somewhere else, which meant I had to re-gig the whole thing.
I have worked on it again this morning and am now pretty confident that it is finshed but who knows.
I do hope that it is good enough. I seem to have sweat blood on it. It sounded better than it looks when I recorded it. But I would say that wouldn't I.
I am now starting to put the service around it. This time the hymns seem to leap off the page at me so that is a good thing. Usually I find hymns difficult and time consuming.
Luckily I do have time on my side if not brains!
Anyway more on that story later. Speak to you soon.

Trial Sermon

2007-05-22T00:26:00.001-07:00

I have finished my trial sermon!! It has taken me days. I have really struggled with this one. I don't know why, perhaps because it is the trial one and I am more nervous about it. Perhaps because of the subject matter. Anyway I have wrestled with it. In fact it made me think about Jacob wrestling with God.
My husband read it after I had spent hours on it and asked so many questions I began to wonder if I was writing English. However once again I think on the whole its better now I have answered his questions. Even then I had to struggle to put it back together again. I now have to put the service round it which I know is going to take a long time, choosing hymns is not as easy as you might think. It very important to get just the right one and that is not always the one hymn book thinks you ought to have for that particular reading. Then there are the prayers!! Our minister writes his material on Saturday that's really impressive. I could no way do that, I need a week to practice it all so I have to start early. Anyway its done now so I can relax and get on with the next bit.
I have just got to the end of unit 4. Narrative sermons Oh dear I am going to find this very hard. Ordinary sermons are bad enough but writing a story!!!! Its not my style. I think this is something that some people will have a gift for and unfortunately I am not one of them. When I have done it and given it in I shall keep it and use it for a real service I should hate something so difficult and time consuming to go to waste.
So I shall speak to you again when I have finished the service. Bye for now.

First Full Service

2007-05-16T00:34:00.000-07:00

Sunday was the day!! I did my first full service. It went well I was not paralysed by nerves and I remembered my sermon. There is of course room for improvement but it can only come with time, I still don't know enough but I can't do that all at once. It takes years to get all that Bible knowledge. The bits where I knew what I was talking about were away from the paper but the bits that were Bible based were a bit stuck to it. However I am not dismayed it could have been a lot worse. But there were not many people there. I did not mind because it made me feel more at ease, although in some ways I guess it was more difficult because they were so close it seemed very personnel.
It was an evening service and my feeling is that these should be much more mellow than mornings when you want praise and jubilation, but because it was my first full service I stuck to the script and made it, what passes for normal/formal. I am glad I did, because to do a relaxed easy going service with discussion and meditation might have been difficult in the circumstances, and this gave me the practise I need for my trial service which is coming up in a months time.
I feel as if I am learning and moving forward quite well now. I feel more at home with what I am doing and I understand more of the underlying structure of Methodism and worship.
It may sound very silly but organisation of papers and books on the lectern is crucial for good performance once you are up there. It gives you a feeling of security to know that all your stuff is well balanced and not likely to come tumbling down when not expected. Getting rid of paper once you have finished with it is difficult to as you have to either litter the floor with it or bend to put it on the shelf underneath, meanwhile keeping your finger on the point where you are!!
When you get to that marvellous position of knowing so much that you don't need reams of paper to remember points it must be fantastic. I don't think I am destined to live that long, however we can only hope and pray.
Anyway I am off this morning to do Luke, then I have to get down and write my sermon for my trial. It is early but this gives me the chance to hone it to what I hope may be something like good, if not perfection. Then I can concentrate on putting the service around it and then practising what I have before the day. I will get quicker but it is so important for it to be right. People cannot get the most out of worship if they feel the preacher has not prepared properly.

Study

2007-05-10T03:09:00.000-07:00

Keeping up better now. I have more time and energy to keep blogging. Not sure if I can promise to do it as regularly every week but there we are.
I have been applying for jobs and have signed on but I am not sure if I should be looking for work. I feel that I ought to be trusting God to look after me and see that my pension does cover things later on. I think that I ought to just study and stay at home, but this is something I have never done. I have worked since I was 16 except for the time I spent at college, so work is something I have liked and done for 40 years, and it is difficult now to stop. I feel that it has deffined who I am, and the whole of my life. I feel very bad about having to answer the question what do you do "O I am just a housewife" It does not feel right, but a small voice is saying to me that now is a good time to stop, but it feels to early I am too young!! I will just have to keep praying about it, but it does interfere with my studies somewhat because it is always at the back of my mind. If I go back to work I will not have as much time to give to study and that will make a huge difference to me and to it. Gone are the days when I did the OU and could study and work full time without trouble.
Anyway you don't want to hear all this, except that it is instructive for any of you starting out. Other things get in the way in the most ridiculous ways.
I have been forging on now and have started Unit 4 even though I have not done my trial service yet.
This is strange but it happens because I started in the new year and not in September. For any out there thinking about doing this, then I suggest you start in September it helps because of the way the course as a whole works. However doing things ahead of the time allotted for them has the advantage the you can do them more than once if you find them difficult, or you can forge ahead in there knowledge that if anything crops up which slows you down you are well ahead and need not worry.
I enjoyed my study time this week with the tutor. I learnt a lot and I am looking again at the parts of the unit we talked about and am seeing a whole lot more second time around.

Sorry

2007-05-08T00:19:00.000-07:00

So sorry for all you readers. I have been so busy that I have not had time to write anything since April 25th. I never could keep a diary so its not surprising that I find this difficult.
My mentor and I have been very busy with services. I have had four in the last five weeks and he has had five. Next Sunday is the big one for me as I am to do all the service myself for the first time. It is an evening service as well, which I have not done before. I think they have a different rhythm too mornings. I have tried to keep it shorter and more relaxed but we will see. Will I feel more relaxed probably not. Each one is different and has its own organic feeling.
I now know where my trial service is to be, and when, so I shall have to think about that fairly soon. It is not for another month but I an early preparer so I expect that I shall be doing it next week once Sunday has passed.
I am beginning to go round again to some of the churches in the circuit. This is good because it allows me to meet again some nice people. It also helps to memorise them for the future. Unfortunately there are still some churches which I have not been to at all and I am worried that I will not visit them before I am let loose on my own. However we shall see.
This Sunday went quite well I had to do another children's address which I find quite unnerving. I did try to buy some children's books and Bible stories but when I read them I realised that I could make Bible stories modern and child friendly myself so why spend money on a book? However you would have to ask the children whether that is correct or not.
I will really try to keep this thing up to date from now on and con only apologise again for my tardiness.

Sunday's Service

2007-04-25T06:32:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. Here I am again. Sunday went well the congregation liked what we offered. My children's address was not a total disaster and someone said that they did not notice the nerves which is good. A nice big pulpit is good for that, it hides the shaking knees!!! Although I was more confident this time than last and I managed the wad of paper much more successfully.
Next Sunday has been discussed and written I just need to practice it.
I am so grateful to God that he has allowed me to do this, and I am grateful to be free of the cancer. A friend of mine did tell me that if God wanted me to preach he would get me through and he has. Through the prayers of others not my own though. I could not have got through without other peoples prayers. I felt numb and unable to pray at times through the last three months. I have received several Bible quotes too which have been very helpful.
In a very strange way now that its over I am glad I have been through it. It has made me lean more on the Lord and other people. It has made me realise that nothing can be achieved without Gods help.

After the Op

2007-04-21T02:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry everyone I hope your still out there and interested. I came out of hospital last Friday and felt a little depressed for a while. But I am OK now. I feel much better and am getting a lot of movement back in my arm. I have much more energy and don't feel depressed any more.
I started studying again last week and now have another service to do, which means that I shall be taking part in a service every Sunday from now till May 13th, when I do the whole thing. Its a bit scary but I am on a roll now and it is helping me to concentrate and to separate the different things in my brain which is good. The one thing that suffers is the study I have to do on the units. Unit 3 has lasted a lot longer than it should have done. Never mind I am getting there and I feel sort of uplifted and happy.
My next big thing to tackle is children. The children's address is not something which I feel very at home with so I will have to work on that quite a bit. I got out a Children's Bible I had been given as a child. It has pictures but most of them are black and white and it uses actually Bible text to tell the story's. The 50's were a wonderful time when children were small adults and expected to behave as such. Its wonder we all came out so good. When I looked at this Children's Bible I was appalled and realised how much the world has changed. I shall have to buy some books to help me but don't know where to start. So if any one has a good idea for me please send me a comment here.
I want to start with some very simple prayers and Bible story's but don't really know what is appropriate for the different ages. Any way I shall see how it goes on Sunday when I have to do a prayer for the children.
I hope to keep posting regularly from now on time permitting.

2nd sermon again

2007-04-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

Well I gave my second sermon to my husband to read and he thought it was not so good. After the last one, which he liked, I was quite cast down. But he made me think about it again and I realised that perhaps it was a but muddled. Just who was I aiming it at. So I have reworked it and think that it is better but only time will tell. I will get him to read it again and maybe record it to listen to. He is not a Christian so finds some things very difficult. That's is why his opinion is so useful. If I can make him like it then it must make some sort of sense.
Anyway my mentor will tell me what he thinks about it so that's two really useful opinions which should help me to produce a good effort in the end.
Well tomorrow is the day. I hope all goes well. I feel that I have a whole Church full of people praying for me, a family who love me and friends who are there for me, so it can't fail really.
After tomorrow I hope that will be it. I don't want them to find something else lurking unexpected. But what ever happens I feel I shall be ok.
Speak to you all again soon back out of hospital by Saturday all being well.

2nd Sermon

2007-04-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

Lots of news today. I have finished my second sermon, and I have a date for my operation.
The sermon has been maturing slowly in my brain. It is very early for May but as I have to go into hospital I thought I better make a start. I pick my text, then cogitate on it for a while making notes and having ideas at the gym. I wonder if hamsters have brilliant ideas on their treadmills?
Anyway after a few weeks of thought, it gets to a point when I can no longer hold back, I have to write something down. Its like laying an egg. After the effort of laying it, then comes the hard work of looking after it. It needs toning to perfection and practicing endlessly before the day. I hope the time spent gets shorter. If I were paid a decent wage for this by the hour I would be a wealthy woman. Anyway its done and I can go into hospital knowing that the hard work is all there and I shall be recovered enough to finish it when I recover.
My date for the op is Tuesday 10th April. Quite good actually. I to go to the theatre tonight with my Mother and it would be disappointing not to go. I shall manage to be at church on Easter day and have the family for lunch so all that is good, and I should be better to do the next allotted service which is on the 22nd where I am doing everything except the sermon. This too is prepared so I am all set. I shall try to write something else before Tuesday but can't say when I shall write after.

1st Sermon

2007-04-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys I have been off the air for some days. I am a terrible diary writer. I know that you won't come back if there's nothing to read. However I now have something to say.
I did my first sermon on Sunday morning and it went well. The congregation liked it. I was nervous and had spent every day in the preceding week practicing it. But that was good as I managed to get off the paper. I was worried about this when I started but with plenty of practice I can do it. I know that I was helped by God to do this and I am now praying that he will keep me steady and focused for the next time.
Now I have to consolidate on this good start and keep studying and preparing for the next time. I do need more knowledge of the Bible but this will come with time.
Yesterday Monday, I was sharing a service with two other worship leaders at Chapel Allerton. I like sharing services. Each person brings something different to the mix of items and when you put them together it makes a much bigger whole. That did bring me down to earth a bit though as I made a mistake in one of the hymns. I thought we had agreed on I The Lord of Sea and Sky but apparently we were singing Will you Come and Follow Me. Which was unfortunately as I had prepared something that ended Send Me which is a good lead into the 1st choice. It also meant that the meditation was knocked off course.
This certainly keeps you on your toes. It is so important to get it right as it can upset the whole service if something goes wrong.
I shall pray about this and ask God to help me to cope with what ever happens and to carry on and not spoil the whole for one mistake.
I will try to write a bit more regularly do keep tuning in and if you have any comments helpful or not please write to me.

Apologises

2007-03-23T03:31:00.000-07:00

Hello again I am so sorry that I have been off air for more days than usual. The fact is I had a bit of bad news last Monday and have not felt like writing anything since. I have to have a mastectomy which is unexpected and upsetting. However I have lots of support from family and friends and lots of people are praying for me so I feel that God is with me.
I have been studying since Monday and sometimes I can concentrate but sometimes I can't. I hope that gets better.
This has made me think though. I cannot be the only person who feels upset and disorientated. There must be many lay and ordained preachers who feel just the same. Everyone has family problems, ill health and other things that they have to cope with. Sometimes we are very hard on our ministers and preachers. We expect them to come up with the goods every service which is hard for them if they are feeling under the weather or upset.
Who ministers to the ministers??
Preachers try to help congregations to worship that's their job. But congregations can help preachers too. We often don't like change or new fangled ways of worshiping, but it is good for us to be pulled out of our comfort zones sometimes. We should all try to help our preachers to lead worship by entering with enthusiasm into whatever it is they are offering even if we don't like it very much. We should try new things. Only by entering fully into worship and trying to get close to God with praise and prayer can we experience the glories of the Kingdom. Worship is not a performance by the preacher, it is a three way communication between preacher, congregation and God.
We can help our leaders to feel supported and respected. Remember that they too sometimes feel that God is far away. They are not perfect people but servants of God and they need our help as much as we need theirs.
There you are how's that for a sermon!!! Not Bible based enough that's how!!!

Questions

2007-03-17T03:38:00.000-07:00

I think I am moving on. I have begun to question my hero William Barclay. This is a good thing as it means that I am really thinking hard about what other people say and how I react to them. It also means that I am beginning to have opinions of my own that have been informed by close reading of the Biblical texts.
I have also calmed down and begun to re-order my mind when I have services to prepare. I am now preparing them one at a time so I don't get muddled. Well done you fool I hear you say why did you not do that before its so simple. Yes it is but enthusiasm took over and I wanted to get on as fast as possible and make sure I was well prepared. Which I was far in advance but then I had more than one service going round in my head which caused some panic moments. Its a learning curve!!!
I have been given some marvellous tapes from a talk that was given to our Local Preachers in this circuit. It was by Morna Hooker on Mark's Gospel she has some incites which are new and invigorate the text. My husband recorded them for me so I could give the originals back and listen to them again and again.
I feel now that I am working slowly and steadily. I am still a bit worried that my menopausal brain won't retain what I have read as long as it used to. I am so glad I don't have to take exams. It is annoying to read something one day and forget it by the next though I never used to have this problem my memory was good when I was younger. I think that the anaesthetic has not helped.

After the Operation

2007-03-12T04:25:00.000-07:00

Well here I am back again. Not exactly fit and well but very much better and getting there.
I did manage to attend and take the service on Sunday and I learnt a lot. The good thing was that content was ok but organization needs some adjusting. I felt I was swamped by papers. However it is a learning curve and that's the point about being on note and then on trial. If it all came very easily then there would be no point and anyone could just go out there and do it. The congregation were very kind and said some nice things to both John and myself so that was uplifting. It is about them after all.
Today I go to talk about my first sermon and then I can get on with Marks gospel the next thing to study. I have made a start and have already found William Barclay very helpful. For any one who does not know William Barclay wrote some Bible commentaries some time ago. They are the most helpful I have found, and very relevant and full of the gospel love. He speaks from his heart and it comes through and down the ages.
I just love this sort of Bible study and can't wait to get on with it. I have to be careful however that I don't get too academic and forget that the study has to have a practical application. That's where Barclay is so helpful because he always manages to bring it back to its relevance for us as we live our lives here today.
I get my results next Monday and will find out then if I have to have any further treatment. I hope not as I found this operation very taxing as I had to go straight back into theatre for another having just woken up from the first!!!
Anyway I am back on line now so keep reading.

Sermon

2007-02-28T04:56:00.000-08:00

Its done hooray hooray. It may have taken weeks of thought and it may not be the best sermon ever written but its done. I have a hard copy and a tape of me saying it. It takes about ten minutes and my husband thought it was quite good, praise indeed!!
I am not sure what my mentor will say about it but at least its done. If every one takes this long I shall never get to the end of the course, but I hope as time goes on they get easier.
I was very aware as I wrote that my knowledge was very small. That at least will improve as I go on with the course. As long as my menopausal memory holds up to the task.
I am so glad that this is done as I go into hospital tomorrow for my operation so will not be feeling very intellectual after that for a few days.
I may not post again till next week as I shall be under the knife, as they say, so speak to you then and God Bless

Sunday

2007-02-25T06:41:00.000-08:00

Its Sunday and John and I have been to Trinity. This time I was doing prayers. The service went well and although I was nervous I did enjoy doing it. I managed to get away from the page and put in some extemporary prayers including some new news. There is still some tweaking to do though. I should put Amen in between all the different prayers and always say let us pray before we do. This puts the congregation at their ease because they know whats going on.
I had a long talk to John about getting ahead of myself and he confirmed my own thoughts on the matter and made me realise part of the problem. I just need to calm down and to learn to be not to do all the time. That made me think.
When I was first approached to become a local preacher I said a very strong no. Part of my reasons were, that as a performer for most of my life I was aware of the very real danger was that I might be more aware of my own performance and not concentrate on God's kingdom. When I made my decision to go forward, I had made a conscious effort to be aware of this trap and not to perform but to preach.
What I had not anticipated was the very strong ambition that is involved with being a performer. Everything is a competition to be the very best. Its the way I was brought up as well. To strive and better myself. There is nothing essentially wrong with that except when it takes over. Which means that you keep on and don't stop hence the getting ahead and feeling muddled. Its is not a competition I can take my time.
This can lead to feelings of never being good enough which is dangerous in itself, as we can never be good enough. God's grace covers that bit, but also to doing all the time and never just being.
A friend gave me a card the other day which says LET GO, LET GOD. Good advice but hard for me to do. However when I do do it, God takes over and everything works out well.
This does not mean that you do not have to put the work in. No! you must work hard to prepare for whatever it is you are doing, but having done the work, leave the rest to God. Its like the old army expression. Put your trust in God and keep your powder dry. God can only work if you have done the preparation after that it is up to him. When I let go of my control it feels very scary but God has never let me down yet and he never will.
I also made a real start on writing my sermon this morning I now have something to say and quite a lot, but it will get muddled in the saying. So that's my struggle for this week.
I see John again tomorrow to discuss March 11th which is everything except the sermon. I don't think I will actually be there to deliver it, if I go into hospital but at least I have done the work.

Busy Busy

2007-02-23T02:57:00.000-08:00

Hello out there. I have not been able to write much for the last week. I have been very busy. My husband has had his operation on Wednesday and is recovering well at home. I seem to have spent hours at one hospital or another. I have been for my pre-assessment and that went well. Apart from the cancer I am very healthy!!. That's just as well though, as I can have the operation without worrying too much. I go to see the surgeon on Monday and have a provisional date of 9th March.
On the study front I am struggling with two services and a sermon. I feel as though I am bogged down but also running too fast. I seem to be ahead of myself in the units but behind with the practical. I think that's just the way I feel, but its worrying. I suppose that's one disadvantage of a course that is both practical and theoretical. Keeping up with both sides is difficult.
I did manage to get the service finished for this Sunday and I have completed the service for March 11th which is everything except the sermon. I see my Mentor on Monday afternoon when we will go through it and he can express an opinion as to its worth. I don't feel its very good but at least its done. I now have to write my sermon. I have copious notes which I think all say the same thing so its going to be pretty short!! Then I must get on with next unit which is Marks Gospel. I am looking forward to that.
Next week looks very busy in the diary but hopefully I can still do some study.
I took the opportunity yesterday while I was in town at the hospital to do some retail therapy which was marvellous. Since I gave up work I haven't been able to indulge myself by buying clothes and things as I used to so I enjoyed this walk round the shops buying a few things some needed some pure pleasure.
Anyway I will try to write a bit sooner next time. Bye for now

2007-02-15T03:32:00.000-08:00

I am still struggling with my first real sermon. Had some ideas at the gym this morning and I had to take one of their flyer's for an exercise program and write them down immediately. It says in the units that many sermon ideas have been lost because they were not written down at the time of thought. I know this to be true as the other day I had a marvellous prayer in my mind. Unfortunately I was not in a position to write it down then and there so when I eventually got to a piece of paper and pen I could not remember all the purple passages that had been so clear in my head just a few moments before. Its old age I guess but none-the-less irritating.
I now have a clear idea about what I want to say and why but still wonder how I am going to stretch my thoughts to last ten minutes never mind the 20 that my mentor thinks I ought to have. I have some weeks to go yet, so I will let it mature over the next few days and see what happens.
This is a salutary lesson on how much ministers have to do. I only have one sermon every few weeks they have two every Sunday, plus all the other duties which they have to perform.
This exercise is also making me realise that the whole service needs to lead up to and complement the sermon so that it does not stick out like a sore thumb but enlarges the thoughts already expressed.
I am still finding it difficult with the difference in dates between my first sermon which is for Palm Sunday and the unit which is on Advent this is not very helpful, however I hope that that will change when I get to the next bit.

2007-02-14T03:40:00.000-08:00

Well here I am again. On Monday I went to my tutor and we discussed all the points in the units up to the point which I have reached. It was so useful. I felt much more positive about sermons and everything when we had finished. I really feel now that perhaps I have got something to say and that I can say it. I hope so as there are things I would like to be able to help people with.

I am still struggling with sermon preparation but I think that's because the unit is dealing with Advent, as most people start in September and that's where the unit expects the church year to be. The fact that we are nearly in Lent makes concentration on the texts the unit proposes difficult for me. Never mind I am sorting that our mentally by ignoring the unit texts and using the texts for the time of year whenever there is an activity to do.

My hospital appointment on Monday was not very productive. I have to have an operation in four weeks time. Pre-op assessment next week, but they will not give a prognosis until they know what they are dealing with and they won't know that until they examine the bit they take away. So four weeks to five before I know whether I will have time to finish this course!!

I think that this course is well written and easy to understand and do. The time spent with tutor and mentor is really useful and should not be missed or stinted on. I have appreciated all the comments I have received here they have been very helpful.

Sermon Studies

2007-02-10T03:36:00.000-08:00

Today I have started taking notes from the Bible passages in Roots and trying to put them into some sort of order with some ideas for sermons. I have also got to the place in unit 2 which requires me to look at a passage from Marks gospel and try to format some sermon ideas. I found my new Bible commentary very useful doing this but then I opened my William Barclay commentary. Bless the man what a joy and such good ideas. Reading him brings to mind the hymn "Such Love", it just oozes out of his every word. I had to stop before the required hour was up as I was starving. I shan't study again now until Wednesday so if you are following my progress I won't be posting until Wednesday afternoon. Until then God Bless.

RCL

2007-02-08T03:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was studying the RCL or the Revised Common Lectionary. This is a three year cycle of Bible, readings following the church year. How very helpful I hear you say, but not altogether as its a bit like those awful sums at school where you think of a number take away its constituent parts and then tell the teacher the name of the engine driver. The church year like any other year should be simple but NO. Its because Christmas, although every December 25th does not always fall on a Sunday and Easter is a movable feast. I tried very hard to get my head round it but then, when my brains had fried I decided to just take it as read and use the very convenient table in the back of the Methodist Worship Book, to tell me what Sunday it was and not to bother with it again.

There are advantages and disadvantages to using this Lectionary. One advantage is that it was put together by an ecumenical group and is used in different churches everywhere. This makes both worshiper and preacher aware all the time of the large body of Christians worshiping every Sunday in different places and ways. It brings together a wide, diverse body of people all worshiping the same God. The thought of this and the ecumenical work involved in putting this together is marvellous.

One big disadvantage is that it excludes much of the Bible most importantly in my opinion is the gospel of John which only appears in small gobbets and is not followed in the same way as the other gospels. Maybe in the year dot when they are putting together the NRCL the New Revised Common Lectionary they could make it a four year cycle and include Johns' Gospel. Using these readings can be liberating for a preacher in that they are given their sermon text without particularly having to think, but can also be stultifying, as following it can be restraining. However you don't have to use it, so on the whole it is good, as if you need help then there it is and if you feel inspired you can forget it for that week and follow your inspiration.

Sometimes the readings seem to have a pattern from Old to New Testament, sometimes not particularly. I expect like most new preachers I shall be clinging to them like a comfort blanket, and to Roots the magazine which helps preachers to use these readings to make a thoughtful sermon.

Anyway today I have been cracking on with Unit 2 and putting together some more ideas for the prayers I am to write for 25th.

What is Worship

2007-02-07T04:09:00.000-08:00

Today I started Unit two of the course. I read it through yesterday and today went back to the beginning to do it in detail. They say the more you learn the less you know, well its true of this. I feel somewhat over whelmed by all the facets used in worship. Its not as simple as singing, praying, listening and clapping your hands. However I do feel having read this part of the unit that I do want to help people to celebrate and Praise God. So thats what I shall be thinking about for the next service I take part in.
Bit of a shock yesterday, had a mamogram last week, had a call back and its something nasty. Not cancer yet but pre cancer. So I shall have to have an operation to remove some breast tissue. Not what I expected as they were quite positive at the time. I feel quite angry about this as I have so much I want to do. I feel that I have left things to late and now may not have time. However I shall hope that a small piece of tissue removed is all it is and carry on as planned. If God wants me to do this then he will provide the means if I do my part and work hard at it. If you are reading this then I would humbly ask you to pray for me, and for my poor husband as he also has to have an operation on 21st. Which of us will care for which I wonder. The one in less pain I guess.

First Steps

2007-02-06T03:39:00.000-08:00

Well this is my second try at writing a blog. I have to say setting this up was easier than before. The hope is that this will be accessible from my church web site and will help anyone out there who is thinking of, or just starting to, study to be a Local Preacher in the Methodist Church.
My aim is to keep a diary of my studies, my services, any successes and any failures. I hope to benefit too from comments that I hope will be posted on my diary. Be kind please!!!

So I went with my Mentor to my first service on Sunday where I just read the Bible readings. This was interesting as although I have read the Bible in church many times I have never had to introduce the readings with comments on where and when and how they link together. It was very instructive to do this and I enjoyed the readings much more having done it. I learnt my first lesson too. Do not read exactly what you have written! If you can, get away from your piece of paper and make it up, based on what you have carefully put together before the service.
I was quite pleased with the way the whole service went and hung together, my Mentor is very helpful and encouraging.
He it was who first suggested to me that I might make a good preacher. It took me about two years and another comment like his from someone else before I took the idea any further. I was initially very sceptical about my abilities as a preacher and I suppose I still am. I have spent some time in prayer about putting my name forward and did feel when I eventually did that it was the right thing to do. I am still not sure weather I can preach but I shall have so much help and support and I firmly believe that God will make his will known to me during the time I shall be studying. I have been a Worship Leader for some time but have never written or given a sermon. It is this that terrifies me. However I shall have lots of practice and help with this. Having given my name to be considered although I felt very worried I did feel a sort of peace and feeling that this was the right thing to do.
Right now I am going through the second of the units for study and starting to think about the next service in which I shall be taking part. I have to write prayers for that one.
I shall try to write this blog regularly and hope that my endeavours will be prove instructive to all who read it.